I was sitting in my childhood room when I finally realized something that would change my mindset forever. I realized I had the power to change my life.
It was about six months post college graduation, and I was experiencing post-graduation blues. Additionally, I just experienced a tough breakup. To make matters worse, I desperately needed to find my next line of employment. Anyone who has experienced post-graduation blues, or being sad in general, can probably imagine the whirlwind of emotions I was experiencing.
Some days, I felt okay. Other days, I was a ball of emotions. I often found a quiet place to cry, think, and pray. Eventually, I grew tired of being miserable. I knew it was healthy to feel my feelings and to work through my pain but I could not see the silver lining in staying in a dark place.
I decided I needed something to hope for as it related to my future. I needed to change my perspective, to not play the victim and to take control of my emotions and thoughts.
Honestly, changing your perspective while managing your emotions is challenging. However, it is a necessary thing to do.
That day, I looked around my room and noticed how much I had grown out of my space. It was ugly, to say the least LoL.
Back when I was a junior in high school, I took advantage of the opportunity to decorate my room. I really liked green then. So, I selected a muddy lime green color. Yea… if your face turned up you imagined the color exactly. In all fairness, the color choice and decor served me well. Mainly, because I liked it and it was my independent choice. And that felt good…to have a choice!
It seemed as if I had forgotten I had the power to make a choice.
But as it was, I needed to make another choice for myself. A choice that would force me to stop feeling sorry for myself and to feel hopeful about my future. I needed to channel the power I had within to make changes not only in my environment but also in my mind. I decided I would start with my room. At the time it was the easiest thing I could change. Additionally, it seemed like the only thing I could change.
As you can imagine, I was excited to start my bedroom makeover. I was and still am an HGTV fanatic, so I tapped into some shows for inspiration. I also sketched out how I would rearrange and decorate my room. I went on a home depot excursion, this time channeling my father. He loves D.I.Y. projects! I selected a cool gray paint color and headed home to start the job.
The entire project took me about two weeks to complete but when it was complete, I could not have been prouder of myself.
Though the act of redecorating my room was simple, it helped me affirm what I knew deep inside but needed to come to the light. It helped me affirm that I am powerful. That I can make choices for my life. That I do not have to sit and wait for things to happen to me. Instead, I can move in the direction I want to go towards and create the change I desire.
The act itself boosted my confidence and got my mind off of all the things I could not control. I could not control the fact that my contract was ending soon. I could not control the fact that my relationship and friendship ended. I could not control the fact that I did not know what my future would look like in the next months or years to come.
New color scheme.
However, I can control the choices I make. I can use all the power inside of me to think positively.
I do not know why it took me so long to understand the power I had to change my life. Up until that point, I was so comfortable accepting whatever I was given. I never really asked for more. I mainly thought things would work themselves out and eventually I would have the life I always desired. However, I now know this is the furthest thing from the truth. I now know I have the responsibility to act in power.
As I have experienced life, I have learned sometimes you have to start with your environment. If your environment does not invoke peace or inspiration, it will be hard to get your mind to believe in better. While the inside work is necessary, changing your environment can help boost your confidence. It can also add momentum towards change.
If you ever feel hopeless about your present condition, I hope you take a moment to consider all the things you can change. I hope you know you are powerful. I hope you know you have a choice. I hope you do not throw the towel in but give yourself a fighting chance. Take one small step…you never know where it will take you.
Wishing you the best in all your future endeavors.
As always,
Peace, Love, and Joy
~Shalanda
